Keeping The Holidays Happy
By Lisa Shanken
November 16, 2023
With Thanksgiving and the general holiday season just around the corner, it always reminds me of the complexities of this time of year. Moderately indulging without going overboard with holiday food, feeling excited to see all of your family but then easily getting annoyed with them when you are together, being excited about giving gifts but then exceeding your budget, and trying to stay healthy but then having a few too many glasses of wine, are all things that can add to the stress of the holiday season.
Given that most of us deal with at least one of the above-named stressors, I think it’s a great time of year to look at how to plan accordingly and avoid as much of this stress as possible. In my line of work, and in general, regarding executive functioning, it always comes back to planning and structure, so here are some tips on how to set that up in advance and maximize your holiday enjoyment.
- Spending money. The holidays are obviously associated with lots of gift-giving, which can mean extravagant spending not incorporated into your monthly budget. The most important thing is to buy within your means. If you live paycheck to paycheck, this may mean crafting your own gifts at home rather than purchasing things. If you have savings or get a holiday bonus, set aside the total amount you are willing to spend, and then divide that amongst all of the people for whom you plan to buy gifts. If you find yourself impulsively wanting to buy things beyond your budget, use the 5-second pause strategy before making a purchase. Ask yourself over 3-5 seconds, “How will buying this impact my finances?” Just a quick pause before completing that purchase can make a big difference to your bank account.
- Indulging in holiday food. The holidays are undoubtedly a time for some indulgence, but the key is not to overindulge. What does that look like for you? Asking yourself these questions before you arrive at a holiday dinner is imperative to avoid giving in too much to temptation. For example, if you generally avoid sugar but can’t live without your Dad’s Thanksgiving pecan pie, plan your meal accordingly. Maybe take an extra serving of vegetables that night and opt for pecan pie as your only dessert. Again, so much balancing your indulgence comes back to controlling your impulses. Rely, once again, on that 5-second pause and ask yourself, “Will I be upset tomorrow if I have a second slice of pie?” There is no right or wrong answer. Sometimes going for that second slice is exactly what you need rather than being too rigid. It’s all about using that pause to rely on good decision-making rather than a quick whim.
- Enjoying family time. While hopefully most of us love our families, large family gatherings still mean a mix of several different personalities. It’s normal to feel more tolerant towards some family members than others. To thoroughly enjoy these gatherings, I suggest trying to focus on gratitude with one another, maybe even naming it out loud. Pre-planning an activity like a family football game, a walk, or watching a funny movie together can also be helpful to evade conflict. Most importantly, remember to breathe, especially when you feel yourself getting triggered, as this can help control your reactions.
As you can see, so much of this comes down to impulse control, which is a component of Executive Functioning. When we can learn to control our impulses through pausing, breathing, and understanding our triggers ahead of time, we can control our reactivity and behaviors and be the best version of ourselves. Please reach out if you feel impulse control is something you would like to improve in your life. Wishing you a happy and healthy Thanksgiving!
Lisa Shanken
My passion is to help you live your healthiest and most harmonious life, but in a way that’s realistic and practical for you as a unique individual on this planet. My philosophy is all about “balance,” never a diet since a diet is not sustainable for life, aka Kill The Diet.
September Transitions Are Hard for Neurodivergent Adults. Here’s Why.
By Lisa Shanken
August 3, 2026
You're staring at the end of summer. You’re feeling your summer rhythm, even if it’s a loose one. And now September is approaching and something already feels slightly off. Not a crisis. Just a low hum of dysregulation you can't quite name. If that's where you are right now, this...
Why Small Talk Is So Exhausting and What Actually Helps
By Lisa Shanken
July 27, 2026
You're standing at a work event or a party. Someone asks, “What have you been up to?” Before the conversation has even really started, you feel something that's hard to name. Not shyness. Not rudeness. Just a kind of exhaustion that arrived before you said a word. You say something....
Testimonials
Lisa’s weight loss plan really gave me a new insight to healthy eating and living. I was diagnosed with breast cancer in January 2015. Healthy living/easting/exercise has become very important to me and my family and this program really helped me get even more on the course with this and helped me lose weight.
Danielle D, Great Neck, NY
When I heard about the 10 Day Weight Loss Challenge, I wasn’t sure if it would be a good fit, since as a physician, I understand nutrition and health (and therefore knew the dangers of fad diets, etc…), and I do my best to exercise (though not always enough). But as a single mother of 2, it’s still very challenging ti “fit in all in” (including cooking healthy meals for my children) due to my busy schedule. And when my time is short, bad habits crop up and weight gain follows.
Dr. Gila Ackerman, Boulder, CO
Psychiatrist
Lisa has made an enormous contribution to my health and strength. I have seen and felt the most fantastic changes in an amazingly short time.
Chessie F, Boulder, CO
I just wanted to say you were amazing through this 10 day process! I learned so much from you! You were very thorough in all areas of the challenge and got back to us in such a quick manner with our questions. It was a great jump start into a more healthy life style that’s for sure!
Colby E, Boulder, Colorado
I LOVE the recipes, simple, few ingredients, appealing. I like the idea of using the list of staples you provided when i was tempted to cheat!
Phyliss S, Spring House, PA
I worked with Lisa to develop a holistic wellness plan that has allowed personal growth without having to completely change my lifestyle. Her programs are designed around your personal needs, so I always feel like I've gotten the most from my sessions and leave with manageable goals. Lisa's three-prong approach to wellness (fitness, nutrition and health) is helping me live a balanced and grateful life.
Ali S., Boulder, CO
I’ve been through the ringer with different dieting plans through the years. Some helped me lose weight and some didn’t – but it didn’t matter because I would always gain it back. I didn’t know if this 10 day Weight Loss Challenge would be the answer since everyone says they have the “BEST” way to lose weight. But this one seemed to be more doable – like instead of starving myself, keeping track of calories (“been there done that – VERY annoying!”) and things I know I wouldn’t stick to.
Jill W, Park, NY
Lisa, you have been a very positive role model for me! Through the exercise and diet I’m becoming healthy and more positive about my life!!! Thanks!