Friendship “Maintenance”—Managing the ND Way
By Lisa Shanken
May 11, 2026
The "standard" societal rules of friendship often demand consistent texting, regular phone calls, and remembering milestones. For the neurodivergent brain—especially those with ADHD—this "maintenance" can feel like a mountain of chores and ultimately can lead to "friendship guilt." You deeply love your friends, but the struggle to stay in touch can make you feel like you're failing at the relationship.
Out of Sight, Not Out of Mind
Many of us experience "object permanence" issues with relationships. If we aren't seeing someone or being prompted to think of them, they might slip into the back of our minds. This doesn’t mean we don't care. However, today’s world has so much stimuli and our our brains are designed to focus on the immediate demands of the "now."
- The "Low Maintenance" Friend: The most sustainable neurodivergent connections are often those where you can go months without talking and pick up right where you left off. Finding "low maintenance" friends who understand your "radio silence" is key to long-term social health.
- Digital Boundaries: It's okay to tell friends you aren't a "texter" but love a scheduled hang-out. Being honest about your capacity is a form of care for the relationship.
- Authentic Community: True friendship shouldn't feel like a job or an item on a to-do list. It should be a place where your "glitches" are understood and your presence is celebrated, regardless of your response time or your ability to remember a birthday on the exact day.
Bloom on Your Terms
Whether you’re looking to deepen existing connections or find "your person" who truly understands your social rhythm, you don't have to navigate it alone. Join us for Love Bloom: Speed Dating Reimagined on Thursday, May 21st, 2026, from 5:30 – 7:00 PM at Brewability in Denver. This is a neuro-informed space where you can find authentic community and partnership without the pressure of "maintenance" guilt. Space is limited, so sign up now and find your people!
Lisa Shanken
My passion is to help you live your healthiest and most harmonious life, but in a way that’s realistic and practical for you as a unique individual on this planet. My philosophy is all about “balance,” never a diet since a diet is not sustainable for life, aka Kill The Diet.
Loneliness Is a Mental Health Crisis and Neurodivergent Adults Are Hit Hardest
By Jay Balan
May 30, 2026
A few months ago, I wrote about loneliness, what the research says, what it costs us, and why connection is not a luxury but a genuine health need. If you missed it, I recommend starting with this article on loneliness and mental health. For Mental Health Awareness Month, I want...
The Neurodivergent Brain and Mental Health: Why the Conversation Is Overdue
By Lisa Shanken
May 27, 2026
May is Mental Health Awareness Month, and every year, I notice the same thing: the conversation around mental health becomes louder, more visible, and more public, while still missing a large group of people who need support the most. Adults with ADHD, autism, dyslexia, and related executive functioning challenges experience...
Testimonials
Lisa’s weight loss plan really gave me a new insight to healthy eating and living. I was diagnosed with breast cancer in January 2015. Healthy living/easting/exercise has become very important to me and my family and this program really helped me get even more on the course with this and helped me lose weight.
Danielle D, Great Neck, NY
When I heard about the 10 Day Weight Loss Challenge, I wasn’t sure if it would be a good fit, since as a physician, I understand nutrition and health (and therefore knew the dangers of fad diets, etc…), and I do my best to exercise (though not always enough). But as a single mother of 2, it’s still very challenging ti “fit in all in” (including cooking healthy meals for my children) due to my busy schedule. And when my time is short, bad habits crop up and weight gain follows.
Dr. Gila Ackerman, Boulder, CO
Psychiatrist
Lisa has made an enormous contribution to my health and strength. I have seen and felt the most fantastic changes in an amazingly short time.
Chessie F, Boulder, CO
I just wanted to say you were amazing through this 10 day process! I learned so much from you! You were very thorough in all areas of the challenge and got back to us in such a quick manner with our questions. It was a great jump start into a more healthy life style that’s for sure!
Colby E, Boulder, Colorado
I LOVE the recipes, simple, few ingredients, appealing. I like the idea of using the list of staples you provided when i was tempted to cheat!
Phyliss S, Spring House, PA
I worked with Lisa to develop a holistic wellness plan that has allowed personal growth without having to completely change my lifestyle. Her programs are designed around your personal needs, so I always feel like I've gotten the most from my sessions and leave with manageable goals. Lisa's three-prong approach to wellness (fitness, nutrition and health) is helping me live a balanced and grateful life.
Ali S., Boulder, CO
I’ve been through the ringer with different dieting plans through the years. Some helped me lose weight and some didn’t – but it didn’t matter because I would always gain it back. I didn’t know if this 10 day Weight Loss Challenge would be the answer since everyone says they have the “BEST” way to lose weight. But this one seemed to be more doable – like instead of starving myself, keeping track of calories (“been there done that – VERY annoying!”) and things I know I wouldn’t stick to.
Jill W, Park, NY
Lisa, you have been a very positive role model for me! Through the exercise and diet I’m becoming healthy and more positive about my life!!! Thanks!