Everyone Deserves Love
By Lisa Shanken
August 6, 2025
Everyone deserves love! No matter who you are, what types of struggles, super powers, or traits you have, you deserve love, intimacy, and companionship (if you want those things). For years, our Tri-Wellness clients have voiced their desire for finding a partner and the challenges that go with it. We did some of our own research and here’s what we found:
- Neurodivergent populations are quite interested in finding long-term relationships. A study in 2016 showed that about 73% of autistic adults report having romantic relationship experiences—and many express a strong desire for a life partner. Barriers have included social isolation, anxiety, and difficulties communicating their desires.
Compatibility is a big focus. All humans want to find someone with whom they connect, but it can be a bit more complicated for neurodiverse people.
- Autistic individuals often partner with other autistic individuals—likely because shared neurotype fosters understanding and smoother social rapport. Finding partners that can understand each other’s communication style is vital.
- Research shows that neurodivergent pairings (e.g. ADHD + ASD) are increasingly common, providing complementary strengths and mutual empathy, especially within neurodivergent communities.
- Studies find shared traits (honesty, loyalty, direct thinking) are very beneficial when both partners understand each other’s quirks and traits.
Like all relationships, neurodivergent people will experience both benefits and challenges when in a romantic relationship.
- On the positive side, neurodiverse individuals may have more compassion and patience for one another because they have a better understanding of each others’ challenges.
- However, because communication may sometimes be more difficult, reading social cues, processing styles, impulsivity, and emotional dysregulation can present challenges for neurodiverse individuals. However, if both parties are committed, these are issues that can be navigated as pairs get to know and understand one another better.
Finding a long term partner is important for all humans.
- An analysis in 2020 found that neurodiverse relationships follow a similar path as neurotypical relationships. Beyond emotional fulfillment and belonging, long-term romantic relationships improve physical and mental health—reducing risk of depression and increasing life satisfaction and longevity.
- Strong partnerships also help support/increase self-esteem, social integration, and healthy decision‑making.
Final thoughts.
Neurodivergent people can achieve rich, stable relationships when matched with compatible partners and use supportive communication tools. While neurodivergent pairings offer mutual understanding and above-average emotional resonance, they also bring unique challenges around attention, emotion regulation, and sensory differences. With education, peer support, and neuro-informed relationship skill-building, neurodivergent adults can find—and keep—fulfilling partnerships marked by authenticity, understanding, and mutual growth.This is why we started Love Bloom at Tri-Wellness. Navigating the dating world is hard, and we want to help you through it to find “your person.” Our 3 week series begins on August 18th and space is limited, so sign up now.
Lisa Shanken
My passion is to help you live your healthiest and most harmonious life, but in a way that’s realistic and practical for you as a unique individual on this planet. My philosophy is all about “balance,” never a diet since a diet is not sustainable for life, aka Kill The Diet.
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Testimonials
Lisa’s weight loss plan really gave me a new insight to healthy eating and living. I was diagnosed with breast cancer in January 2015. Healthy living/easting/exercise has become very important to me and my family and this program really helped me get even more on the course with this and helped me lose weight.
Danielle D, Great Neck, NY
When I heard about the 10 Day Weight Loss Challenge, I wasn’t sure if it would be a good fit, since as a physician, I understand nutrition and health (and therefore knew the dangers of fad diets, etc…), and I do my best to exercise (though not always enough).
But as a single mother of 2, it’s still very challenging ti “fit in all in” (including cooking healthy meals for my children) due to my busy schedule. And when my time is short, bad habits crop up and weight gain follows.
Dr. Gila Ackerman, Boulder, CO
Psychiatrist
Lisa has made an enormous contribution to my health and strength.
I have seen and felt the most fantastic changes in an amazingly short time.
Chessie F, Boulder, CO
I just wanted to say you were amazing through this 10 day process!
I learned so much from you! You were very thorough in all areas of the challenge and got back to us in such a quick manner with our questions.
It was a great jump start into a more healthy life style that’s for sure!
Colby E, Boulder, Colorado
I LOVE the recipes, simple, few ingredients, appealing.
I like the idea of using the list of staples you provided when i was tempted to cheat!
Phyliss S, Spring House, PA
I worked with Lisa to develop a holistic wellness plan that has allowed personal growth without having to completely change my lifestyle. Her programs are designed around your personal needs, so I always feel like I've gotten the most from my sessions and leave with manageable goals. Lisa's three-prong approach to wellness (fitness, nutrition and health) is helping me live a balanced and grateful life.
Ali S., Boulder, CO
I’ve been through the ringer with different dieting plans through the years. Some helped me lose weight and some didn’t – but it didn’t matter because I would always gain it back.
I didn’t know if this 10 day Weight Loss Challenge would be the answer since everyone says they have the “BEST” way to lose weight.
But this one seemed to be more doable – like instead of starving myself, keeping track of calories (“been there done that – VERY annoying!”) and things I know I wouldn’t stick to.
Jill W, Park, NY
Lisa, you have been a very positive role model for me!
Through the exercise and diet I’m becoming healthy and more positive about my life!!!
Thanks!